KAYVANO3

I’m so sensitive I have “fragile” written all over me.

they say…

you’re kind because you’re in need…
you’re honest because you’re simple…
you’re quiet because you’re a moron…
you’re worried because you’re lonely…
you’re loyal because you have no one…

and they repeat and repeat, until YOU believe your loneliness, your brainlessness, your neediness…
what a way…what a way…

a guy story

a guy decides that he want to find himself a wife. goes to his father and tells him: father, I want me a wife. the man says: how long is your penis?

guy: I don’t know. 10 CMs maybe.
father: go practice and use medical techniques to make it 25 CMs. then I’ll find you a wife.

poor bastard takes off and does what his dad told him. 9 months after, he returns to his father and talks that he indeed increased his penis length and it is more than what his dad asked him.

father: bravo! now take your dick and push it straight in your own ass hole. you don’t need extra holes. they are expensive. also they are contaminated with diseases son.

every time I think about you…

every time I think about you, I get a rash, I sweat, and I feel my heart beat faster. it’s a combination of hate and love, wanting and not wanting, willing to live and willing to kill myself. there is this voice in my head, yelling at me and telling me how much I like to think about you. and again there is this voice in my head, screaming and begging me to start forgetting things. it’s this constant Start & Stop. 1 & -1. Move & Hold. Yes & No. I don’t like it. but I like it.

Gay Bastard

I had a friend long time a ago. we used joke around have grab butts and that kind of stuff, not for real, but something to make the target uncomfortable.
Recently, I found out that he is GAY!
so this motherfucker was ENJOYING the game this whole time while I was doing it as just a joke.
I feel abused.

look who’s talking

I was picking my ear. this girl watches me and goes: eew! disgusting.
I replied: this, comes from someone that bleeds herself. at least I have it in my hand. you drown in yours. is it enough or you want me to keep on describing the differences?

I have so many problems I look like a math book

mixed drink

my mixed drink:

1. hot water
2. coffee
3. ice
4. soda
5. cigar ash
6. some apple juice
7. cinnamon
8. 2 tablespoon olive oil
9. some yogurt

tastes great but I think I might have diarrhea

any one has a talking monkey? I’m interested in buying one.

email me.

advice: acne people

you should use your acne as a mine. dig into those piles of fat, collect and export them. skinny people need more fat to gain weight. you can sell it to them.

I was going to study today

but I was so busy laughing at my crippled neighbor spending 2 hours to reach the top of the stairs and find out that he doesn’t have the keys. dumbo.

I have a cousin

with down syndrome. people think they feel sad and think about how their life is .but the truth is, they literally don’t.

love is

love is like your neighbor, that old lady from down stairs. you’re minding your own business. but she doesn’t. she is searching for ways to make you get involved in shit. because she is bored with her life. but not you. you have a great life. don’t let her control you.

I was walking down the stairs

I heard a loud noise. I thought a goal in the game which was on TV. didn’t want to miss it. so rushed down. but out of bad luck, a twist of right ankle and I’m falling. more like pouring down like a liquid. cut my knee open. patella cracked and a piece of it broke and fell out. my knee is bust open. I see a bones. I try to find that missing bone part on the floor. where is it? while barely moving and dragging myself on the ground, I bend my knee and the CRACK! I think I broke something. I feel warmth between me and the floor. I try to find out what’s going on. aha! there, it’s the blood. there so much blood under my body. my own blood. so colorful. eyes don’t see well, blurred vision, comes in and goes out. combined with dizziness. what a great couple. the perfect match. I look at my knee. there’s blood everywhere. but a piece of white thing is still in there, the bone. I look closer. through the cracks of the bone. oh look at that! the spongy tissue is filled with blood. it’s like those red liquids they pour on ice cream. while looking at my cut open knee, I see my lost bone piece on floor, 2 meters away. good thing I don’t have a dog in the house.

HUGE DROP. after losing all of your blood flow in your body and moving it all over the place, fainting is inevitable.

*please ignore language errors of any kind. I didn’t even read it afterwards.