- brother: you're a total waste of space. I often dream of killing you.
- me: I am gonna ignore you for the rest of my life.
- brother: no you won't.
- me: mom, did you buy a dog? I can hear a dog.
is a fresh stick of Montana cigarets. may I rest in peace.
also I give away my laptop to homeless. introduce Tumblr to them. they deserve it.
also I am a creepy person
a guy decides that he want to find himself a wife. goes to his father and tells him: father, I want me a wife. the man says: how long is your penis?
guy: I don’t know. 10 CMs maybe.
father: go practice and use medical techniques to make it 25 CMs. then I’ll find you a wife.
poor bastard takes off and does what his dad told him. 9 months after, he returns to his father and talks that he indeed increased his penis length and it is more than what his dad asked him.
father: bravo! now take your dick and push it straight in your own ass hole. you don’t need extra holes. they are expensive. also they are contaminated with diseases son.
ask me a question. I will not answer it. I’ll ignore it so I can feel important.
because I smashed my head into my room door.
I had a moment of truth as I was thinking with myself like 10 minutes ago. I just learned with the help of my unconscious mind that I haven’t achieved anything, I mean anything, in my life and the whole world would be a slightly better place if I just disappear.
I jumped off the roof. I broke my legs and one arm. from that day, I learned that I’m no superman. see? experimental education works.