Posts tagged no meaning

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Posted 1 year ago

people, it has come to my attention that I have got bitten by a creepy looking insect. and by the look on his face I believe I am going to die within hours. my last request…

is a fresh stick of Montana cigarets. may I rest in peace.
also I give away my laptop to homeless. introduce Tumblr to them. they deserve it.

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Posted 1 year ago

if I was a girl my name would be chelsea

also I am a creepy person

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Posted 1 year ago

a guy story

a guy decides that he want to find himself a wife. goes to his father and tells him: father, I want me a wife. the man says: how long is your penis?

guy: I don’t know. 10 CMs maybe.
father: go practice and use medical techniques to make it 25 CMs. then I’ll find you a wife.

poor bastard takes off and does what his dad told him. 9 months after, he returns to his father and talks that he indeed increased his penis length and it is more than what his dad asked him.

father: bravo! now take your dick and push it straight in your own ass hole. you don’t need extra holes. they are expensive. also they are contaminated with diseases son.

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Posted 1 year ago

I’m gonna marry a girl that has a tattoo on her back. I found it very sexy.

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Posted 1 year ago

iEverything

iPhone
iPod
iPad
iTunes
iMy
iEat
iDog
iPoop
iHate
iJerkoff
iWrite
iDon’tknow
iHaHa
iTired

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Posted 1 year ago

ignorant bastard

  1. brother: you're a total waste of space. I often dream of killing you.
  2. me: I am gonna ignore you for the rest of my life.
  3. brother: no you won't.
  4. me: mom, did you buy a dog? I can hear a dog.
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Posted 1 year ago

dear followers

ask me a question. I will not answer it. I’ll ignore it so I can feel important.

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Posted 1 year ago

PAAAARTTTY!

  1. me: DJ turn it up really high.
  2. mom: are you high?
  3. me: no. why?
  4. mom: then who the hell are you talking to?
  5. me: I'm having a party in my mind. and you're not invited.
  6. mom: I'm doomed.
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Posted 1 year ago

wait, what?

aha

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Posted 1 year ago

I’m so polite people think I’m retarded

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Posted 1 year ago

I have a huge headache

because I smashed my head into my room door.

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Posted 1 year ago

I con’t concentrate

because I have to go to the bathroom

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Posted 1 year ago

moment of truth

I had a moment of truth as I was thinking with myself like 10 minutes ago. I just learned with the help of my unconscious mind that I haven’t achieved anything, I mean anything, in my life and the whole world would be a slightly better place if I just disappear.

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Posted 1 year ago

once I thought I was superman

I jumped off the roof. I broke my legs and one arm. from that day, I learned that I’m no superman. see? experimental education works.

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Posted 1 year ago

annoying kid

  1. me: hey kid! behave or else...
  2. annoying kid: or else what?
  3. me: I'll have lady gaga eat you. yeah, that scary monster.